First love

To the people who is in a relationship with a person who never had a girlfriend. 

Which means in other words,

You are the first love of someone else's life. 

Never let them go.

No matter what happens.

They speak words of honesty.

Their compliments couldn't be more true.

They are so innocent and naive. 

It's fun to be around them.

They see you as their whole world.

They see you as their everything.

They love you with their entire hearts because someone hasn't broken theirs before. 

Their actions couldn't be truer.

Their love couldn't be more sincere.

What they miss the most is you.

If you ever had the chance to find someone like that. 

You can consider yourself the luckiest person in the whole wide world.

Because your other significant self just considered you as their bestfriend in the whole wide world.

I know this.

Because I fell in love with such a person. 

I do consider him as my bestfriend.

And also my last partner I'll ever have. 

The word "FOREVER" may or may not frighten him.

But this is a word I'll use for our relationship. 

And I hope, with all my heart that it stays that way. 

Perfection

He's perfect. 

He's definitely perfect.

No doubt about it. 

He is definitely the perfect one. 

The little innocent things that he do.

The sweet and honest things he says.

Nothing coming out from him is a lie.

He's so funny at times.

He's level of sexiness hit LV999 when he's playing chess. 

But he doesn't know it. ;) 

The way he checkmates me, oh my kokoro cannot handle it. 

He may be imperfect.

But he's perfect enough for me.

He's definitely the one.

Forget about the flaws that he has.

He's mine and mine only forever. >:3

Nobody. 

And I mean nobody, is taking him away from me. 

He's mine, he's mine, he's mine.

He's so photogenic.

And his hair.... Screams*

Curly highlight brown locks. 

Valentines day is around the corner.

It's going to be a very special day!

Non Monday Blues

Mondays are always a blessing. 

Because it's the first day of the week I see him.

No Monday blues for me.

He's my coffee of the day.

Only that he is as sweet as royal honey.

Monday mornings are good. 

I can write again!

There is a time for grief.

And then there is a time for joy.

This year definitely bring joys for me.

All my grief is gone.

He who loves me in the Heavens had delivered my sorrow from the depths of my heart.

He replaced for me a boy whom is innocent by heart and whose love is pure.

He replaced my previous years grief and sorrows with joy and happiness for the many days to come.

All that happened had come to pass.

For good deeds will be favored and returned. 

I'm so blessed to have him in my life.

Someone whom I love so much and am so afraid to lose.

Happiness and joy spells my day. 

Sadness will never be with me.

His love is so pure and innocent, it is impossible to not believe in his words.

He looks at me with his gentle hazel eyes. 

With such affection that it melts my heart.

Sadness begone begone. 

Let not depression to grip my heart again.

I wish not to fall into the past crying day and night.

He's as precious as a gem, and as unpredictable as the day.

His mouth pours only honey and precious stones. 

There is no wickedness in his heart.

His hands do no evil deeds.

His mind as smart as a whip.

He works by day and night. 

But when time for merry comes, he will be merry.

His touches are as gentle as a lamb's and lips as soft as cotton.

His kisses are like golden opportunities.

Every one is worth as much as the other.

It would be a sin to not return as much as he honestly gives.

If there were to be sadness in his eyes, it feels as if my heart could break.

If he were to frown, it feels as if I could cry. 

When he smiles and laughs, my heart jumps with gladness.

If there comes a day when death makes us part. I hope I can be right after you so that I won't need to live a day without you. 

New year 2015

So, it's another new year.

I spent my new year in the Uk. 

But without my loved one, because he's in Ireland. 

I wanted to countdown with him in London. But he's not able to travel that far on his own yet. 

Anyway.. What could be worse than having your dad messaging you first thing in the morning of the new year and reminded you that you have turned 20?????? I really do think that's the worse thing that could start off the year...

I finally had a relationship that lasted till the new year. Hahaha, I know it's weird, but from all the relationships I had, none had lasted further than my birthday month. 

It's nice to have someone wishing you happy new year, merry Christmas, and all the other stuff. He's so sweet, he says the cutest stuff. Not to mention the sexy sounding stuff, even when he didn't mean to be sexy or any of that sort. 

I don't think he even knows he sounds sexy... 

He said he's going to buy me a present from Ireland, so I'm looking forward to it. 

Oh gosh. I can't wait for Monday to come, but yet I don't want it to come, because Monday have tests from school. 

Oh the horror...

Ever since before I came to UK, I never played chess, and I couldn't learn much about chess either, but then when I met him, he was the first person I played chess with. He's a vicious player but he's so gentle.

He's a Christian by the way. 

So, what could be more perfect than that? I don't know if the parents like me, but they certainly are friendly to me. 

His dad or mum doesn't seem like they want to kill me. They even prepared dinner for me. 

He said he misses me a lot, and it annoys him. Hahaha and he wishes me to be with him in Ireland, he's so sweet.

Probably it may seem normal to you, but, I haven't had someone to speak in such a way to me before, so I appreciate it a lot. 

The Fear...

It's been a solid month that my new boyfriend and I have been together. 

I love him a lot and he loves me too.

It's been a long while, that I haven't felt this way to any guy that I have ever dated. 

I know I shouldn't feel this way.

Because I'm his only bestfriend and girlfriend in his entire world. 

But I fear that I will lose him.

I fear that I will lose him as I once did to my first ex. 

I fear that I will plunge into that depression state once again.. For another God knows how long it will be.

When I'm with him, I feel that nothing can break us apart. 

Nothing in this world can seperate me from him.

The things that I have done in the past for my first boyfriend. 

He returns the favour with twice the love.

I feel that there is a churning monster just waiting to break out from me. 

Making me sick to my guts.

And it's telling me to fear that one day, when I will lose him. 

I know I won't lose him that easily.

But there's a small voice at the back of my mind that wouldn't shut up.

When I'm not with him. 

I feel that I'm threatened.

I feel nervous.. Worried... And tensed.

I feel like I can die from the sick churning inside of me if I don't call him. 

Or talk to him.

He doesn't know I feel this way.

I don't know if I should tell him this, I don't want to freak him out. 

He's really young, I shouldn't ruin his purity and innocence. 

I love him so much, I'm so afraid of losing him again...

At times, I do my best to ignore my phone and ignore the messages until night just to refrain myself from texting him like an overly attached girlfriend. 

I don't blame him if I freak him out.

Because I know I'm a freak.

And he's my nerdy freak.

He's my everything now.

I can't believe myself how paranoid I was back then.

Thinking everything is possible for my parents to find out about my big secret.

I did my best to hide everything..

I did my best to not show it...

I did my best to not feel it...

He's.. He's my precious secret..

So precious... 

My heart would really break if he's taken away from me..

I'd might even die from the sadness...

I've always wanted someone with your name on it.. 

Your everything I can ever ask for. 

Falling in love

Being able to fall in love all over again.

Was something I never thought about ever since four years ago.

Of all the boys I dated throughout those years, I tried to love them back, but it was all in vain. I tried and tried. But I couldn't fall in love with them. 

Then came this boy.. So pure and innocent. 

He was just so perfect. 

Just like him. He reminds me so much of him that it hurts. 

But this hurt is the ache of love.

I couldn't believe I can feel this ache ever since the last four years.

But I can feel it so bad.

My heart aches so much when I am with him because my heart is overflowing from love for him. 

I have lost the ability to write about love ever since four years ago. 

But now, it's a different passion.

He loves to read, knows how to write, does sports, play chess, keeps pets and loves cats and he's so smart. How sexy is that? <3 

He's my bestfriend and boyfriend.

What else can I ask for?

What did I ever do to deserve him? 

I love him so much. 

I never want to leave him. 

You may call me foolish. 

But I know what I want. 

He is what I want, and no one will take him away from me.